Can't Sleep Tonight

"No one on their deathbed ever said, 'I wish I spent more time at work.'"

Although I doubt that there is much research to support this statement, intuitively I have to believe that it is true. After all, the vast majority of us have jobs that make the world run, but individually are not the driving force in any major world event. I know that my job fits into this category, although there are some individuals who have benefited from my expertise, abilities, or sympathies in a way that moves them along, helps them, and gives them the opportunity to make the most of their own resources.

This week has been hell on wheels. The start of the university school year. Old problems that need to be "fixed". New issues with pressing deadlines. Programs for new students. Office issues that need to be resolved RIGHT NOW that cannot possibly be addressed until the furor dies down.

Somewhere, in all this, there is family. A young son who has "started college" courtesy of dual enrollment. A DH who runs a busy business and needs support. A Dad who is facing major, life changing surgery, and my hair stylist, who is being patient with me for having missed an appointment when she could have scheduled another client. Oh, most important, my missed lunch with my long time friend Jess, but I promise we'll get back on track soon.

Sometimes it is hard to balance it all. Work has demands that are sometimes seasonal, but always pressing. These needs weigh on me, as they are now, even when I am not at work. I know that I am not alone in this. There are probably a lot of other university people lying awake tonight thinking about the things that need to happen tomorrow.

Is it worth it? Some days I wonder, but tonight I have to say it is. DS is with a trusted friend. DH is sleeping comfortably, now that I have gotten out of the bed and stopped thrashing around trying to sleep.

I have a wonderful team of people to work with. These things will get done. I want to thank two people, who will probably never see this blog for their support: my wonderful Program Assistant, Kanitra...the most wonderful human being on this planet; and my student assistant, Jose, who is so dependable and supportive that I could not possibly do it without him. You two are the best things that have ever happened to me.

Tomorrow I will take care of the things that are keeping me awake tonight. I will wake up on time (I hope) and get back to work. Tomorrow night there will be time for family, and this weekend we will head to the beach.

Today, it would be easy to believe that the office is taking too much from me, but I have to look at what I am giving and how that factors into my life equation. Today, life is hectic and demanding, but the potential benefits (for the students) are worth the effort on my part. I signed up for this knowing that there would be people who would need my help. That's my mission. Next week I will take an afternoon off, the family will be back "on track" and life will resolve into normalcy [whatever that is].

I'm not really spending too much time at work, I am simply attending to the tasks that I feel are important. Now, if I could just go to sleep.