Tuesday, November 28, 2006

You Are Judged by the Company You Keep

I used to roll my eyes when my mother would make statements about being judged by the company you keep, along with a lot of other things. Sorry, Mom. I wish you were here so I could tell you how right you were. But I never kept really bad company, so I couldn't really understand the true meaning (and truth) behind this particular saying.

I've learned it now, though, the hard way. My family's life is now controlled by one sick individual who my son became acquainted with over the summer. This kid (Jon) is the next door neighbor of my son's best friend. He is 16 years old. His parents are doctors. They leave him alone 3 - 4 nights per week while they spend time at their beach house. He deals drugs from their home. He steals from other kids. He stole my son's cell phone "as a joke" and sold his SIM card. (We have proof of this.) He threatens people. He trashed my son's car to the tune of more than $500.

Jon has recently decided that some money was taken from his room. He has also decided that my son and his friend are the only ones who could have done this. At least that is his excuse for terrorizing all of us, assaulting my kid's friend's house, and stalking them both on campus with threats and demands to fight. Nevermind that he was probably too stoned to know if he ever really had the money, where he left it, or how he might have spent it.

We've reported it all to SFCC police, who have been very helpful. We've also had to report it to ASO, who were also very helpful. Now, we have to obtain a restraining order just to try to protect ourselves. I hate having to drag all this law enforcement into my life. The worst thing I've ever done was get a speeding ticket.

I'm embarrassed, but worse, I am scared. We can't get the car fixed until we know this is over. We cannot afford to continually repair vandalism. There are constant threats that come in via text messages and voice mail (ASO was pretty shocked to hear those). My son's best friend lives next door to Jon, and his parents have witnessed the drug activity and the assault on their house, but are too scared to make an official complaint. Jon has already hurt one of their dogs, and they are afraid to file a complaint because they think he will hurt their dogs again or worse.

Jon's parents don't care a bit. When they were told by their neighbors about suspicious activity at their home when they are gone, they waited 3 weeks to respond and then asked the neighbors to watch their house. Maybe a restraining order will get their attention, but I doubt it.

It doesn't take much to get involved with the wrong crowd. It can be a huge task to get uninvolved. We had hoped that the whole thing would burn itself out if ignored, but that isn't the case here.

Let's face it, if my son and his friend had never gotten involved with this jerk none of this would be happening. However, at the ripe old age of 17, none of us is really very well versed in the ways of the world. One out-of-control kid can wreak havoc that you cannot even begin to imagine.

If anyone has any good ideas about stopping this, let me know. In the meantime, I highly recommend getting a wonderful dog over having children. Dogs don't talk, don't make friends you don't want them to have, and are always happy to see you. They are predictable and reliable. They rarely cause terrible stress on your home life.

Damn, I need a vacation. Too bad I'm afraid to leave town.


Anonymous said...

Shit, I can't believe it. That son of a bitch. Ok so what are we going to do? I am worried about you guys now, big time. How did they find out it was him who vandalized R's car?

I think son needs to stop hanging out at his best friend's house period, he has to do everything he can to stay away from this guy. And I think that R's best friend's parents need a restraining order against this asshole too.

See punks like this rule unless people get the courage to do something. Your son's best friend's parents have to get the courage to do something. I know it's easier said than done. Maybe we can get a private eye to track him and nail him in the act of illegal activity?

I am here, we're all here for you, 24/7. We need to figure a way for you to get your life back.

Pa said...

I know its not much help but we had the same problem with our neighbors in Miami. There kids were pure bred ass holes. I talked to them and it did no good. I tried talking to the oldest kid (Chris) he was the worst of the bunch. None of this worked so I had to tell the kid (Chris) that on his 18th birthday I was going to take him out in the street and beat him so bad he wouldn't be able to say his own name. I guess he took me for my word because he moved out and we've never seen him again. His mother blamed me for his moving out but I told her if they had handled it I would not have had to. I know you can't do that now but if you have any proof of the threats or any thing he did swear out a warrant for his arrest. Get him in the system and start making his life miserable. Once he is in the system if he even looks at a cop wrong he will go to jail. Good luck.

Anonymous said...

May he go to jail and stay there or rehabilitate and function normally in society. Just so long as he doesn't do any more harm!

KC said...


I need a name, address, description and whatever else you can provide. I'll be up soon, that's all you need to know.

Your lil sis


Naomi said...

I'm in agreement with Pa. I think this punk needs to be put into the system, somehow. If you know what he's involved in then it shouldn't be hard to get the police involved as well. What do his parents have to say for themselves? Surely they aren't just ignoring his actions are they? Has anyone talked to them yet?

Jess is also right D, son needs to stop any and all association with his best friend and stay as far away from him and the punk as possible, for his and your sakes.
It seems like this family, with so many present and former ties to the "system" should know someone who has the power to do something. Come on family, think about it...

The RedQueen said...

Lil Sis,
You have always rocked. I'd love to see you sometime. Thanks for your support. Info is on the way.

Much love,


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